pesky caffeine

Ben went to the pediatrician today and got a completely clear bill of health. He’s grown two inches, and is two feet exactly. He’s also gained two pounds and change (11lbs, 5oz total), so he’s growing nicely. All his development is fine – he tracks things that move, starts at loud noises, and even smiles at us. I’m so proud of my little guy for learning to smile and chortle. And I am so happy and relieved that I am, apparently, doing everything right. (“Keep doing what you’re doing,” the pediatrician told me.)

As for why I am up at 11:42pm. Well. That will learn me to put chocolate covered coffee beans into my de-caffeinated system. Now I’m awake and can’t sleep. Bother.

Following things are being done in lieu of sleep:

– Cleared off desk
– Did Ben’s laundry
– Edited a friend’s resume
– Signed petition and wrote letter to CBC
– Debating installing new QuickCam (for video chat between Ben and his grandparents in Pennsylvania)

I also spent an hour tonight maintaining my social life. Or resurrecting, I should say. For the past six weeks, I’ve been in a kind of daze of New Motherhood, as I got used to Ben – and Ben got used to, well, Life Outside Me. My mom was here for the first few weeks. Then I had a week without parents. Then Paul’s parents came in. Then I had last week to adjust to being on my own. And now, I finally feel like there is some sort of shape to my days, and I can go back to having a life that includes people beyond my son.

And most importantly, Ben mastered bottles – which means we can LEAVE THE HOUSE and I don’t have to stop for forty-five minutes to breast feed him while we’re out. Instead, I can give him a bottle of pumped milk, or the emergency soy formula I carry as powder in a bottle, ready to be mixed with water. I can always whip out my breast feeding cover (it’s a giant bib) or take advantage of the space and tinted windows in my Mazda 5, but it’s WAY easier to hold him in his sling while I give him a bottle.

Now that I am awake again, and can leave the house, I have started making plans. I went to a stroller based exercise class this morning – jogging with strollers, interspersed with strength training exercises. I made plans to visit my office mates tomorrow before my obstetrician checkup. I scheduled time to meet up with friends on the Westside on Thursday afternoon, including one friend who nannies for two year old twins. I am going to a New Moms meetup on Friday. I am going to have friends over for dinner and go to BOOTIE on Saturday. I am going to get out of the house and go back to having something approximating the life I had before the double craziness of wedding and pregnancy/baby hit ALL AT ONCE last year. And, most importantly, I don’t have to go back to work for eight more weeks, so I have a lot of time in which to visit my friends, meet other new moms, and spend time bonding with my new baby boy.

It feels so good to be able to make plans, and to know I have the energy to actually do things again. I’m so happy about that.

I think I might be able to sleep now, as well. One last load of Ben laundry, and one last mug of herbal Mother’s Milk tea (to increase production – I can barely keep up), and then I can wake up my little piglet for a feeding before I fall asleep myself. And sleep right now, especially snuggled up to my husband and baby, is sheer bliss.

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