Monthly Archives: March 2003

As soon as I confirm that I have a job to pay the rent with…I can have a room in a small duplex in Kerrisdale on May 1st. An inexpensive room, at that.

So, having set that up, I applied for a position at a rival closed captioning shop. I see no reason why I should not be hired. None at all. If not there, at similar. I need a job by end of April…but worst case, I could borrow money from my parents and hold out until mid-May or so.

Yay! Summer camp doesn’t have to ever end!

I would have liked to go home this weekend, would have liked to walk the shores of my home for a day or so. The shock of homesickness ripped through me yesterday; the combination of rereading the Earthsea books, and the ocean in the air at UBC…the way the Inlet reflected the light yesterday when it was still…the view off Point Grey, the way the world drops off from there…

It has been five weeks since I have been home…too long, but it’s flown by. I am, forever and ever, unhappy to be more than a few hours from Victoria. I am only happy when I know I can go find the solace and solidity of the unchanging corners of Oak Bay. I have to go home sometimes, because the colors seem, to me, different than they do anywhere else.

(it’s the shape of the Straits and the islands in my corner of the Archipelago)

Unfortunately, today, non-option. My sister’s at the house, and still not speaking to me. And I will need the libraries on campus this weekend. And I have to work. Reality takes its precedence over fantasia…it’s a shame, because we start work on the Fair next weekend…and it’s all downhill from there. I won’t have a free weekend in the next three weeks.

AND the weather is cold and grey outside. Not the best day for a boat ride. Speaking of which…I think it’s time to go out in said weather, and find my way back to UBC.

I’m feeling better today. I’ll be MUCH better once I get the note from Student Health saying I’m officially unable to work because my brain doesn’t work quite right. Stupid chemicals.

Sunshine helps. My friends help. Lana’s e-mail helped. Hugs from the gang all helped (including the one that almost broke my ribs yesterday). Getting an A+ on a POLI project helped. Being able to snuggle with someone helps. The fact that it’s spring, and the world is clean & smells like grass & blossoms & flowers & ocean always helps.

It’s also almost Friday, and this one IS my last Friday as an undergrad…and this time, I mean it.

Off to Student Health. Hoo-rah.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and
fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts.

Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music
and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses.

Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .

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ANDREW, TO FRIEND, ON PHONE: “What do you MEAN I sold my soul for an Artsie? Fine, fine, it’s true. You really think I could have gotten two midgets for it instead?”

I’m writing cover letters & applying for jobs online…mostly desk jobs in Vancouver.

I would love the opportunity to work with your company, and to use my knowledge and experience with the Internet to develop new avenues of product awareness through creative and innovative new media purchasing.

I hope I’m being sarcastic.

Having nervous breakdown. Really. Screwed on homework, have blown grades, will never get into law school now, &tc., &tc…meh. Well, maybe if I clean up on LSATs, but I can’t even stand to think of those now.

Had to quit the Fair / get pulled off the Fair for two weeks because I’m having physical panic attacks and stress related shutdowns (keep falling asleep for no reason). It got a lot worse Monday. Wonder why. Whole car-uninsured-AND-almos-repossessed-thing might have a lot to do with it. Straw that didn’t just break camel’s back…but blew it to bits.

Going to have to get a note from Health Services again this year: “Jillian has anxiety disorder which has finally gotten out of control. Again. No, we can’t just drug her because she might have seizures”

If you know me IRL, I’d suggest not talking to me…Paige tried to hug me yesterday and I wouldn’t let her. I’m not talking to anyone for a few days. I’m pretty snappy.

Zippy almost went to repossession today because SOMEONE bounced the cheques he wrote to Chase for me.

This is what happens when I stop being a control freak, I tell you.

I went to Blaine today and made a payment with my tuition money. Sorry, UBC, I’ll have to get you next month.

But, regardless…Zippy remains mine. And my credit is dented, not ruined. Therefore, mission accomplished, all’s well that ends well…but I still get the shakes thinking of what would have happened if I hadn’t checked the Chase website when I did. Because I’d thought those cheques had cleared. And I came that close to ruining a decent portion of my adult life in the States…not to mention that of my favorite uncle, who is cosigned on the vehicle in question.