SRSLY?

I just jumped in on the Canadian political situation, and SRSLY? WTF?

WTF is WRONG with Stephen Harper, people? I don’t get why everyone seems to be such a big fan of this coalition idea. I KNOW he’s a Conservative, but when you get down to it, he’s basically an American Democrat. He’s not wasting everyone’s time with social conservatism like the Republicans do, which is why I hated them so much. Harper is a fiscal conservative, which means he runs Canada like a business. What is so horrible about this leader that Canada needs a fucking coup?

Look, I KNOW Harper’s record isn’t that great. I know that he’s been against same sex marriage in the past, but he’s not bringing that into the federal courts, is he? I know he was for Iraq, but he rescinded that when he realized the Bush administration was totally wrong to go in there. He’s against legalization of marijuana, but that’s totally overrided by his pro-decentralization stance: decentralization of power will allow the provinces to make decisions anyways. But he’s not trying to ban abortion, or promote bringing more church into the state, or anything like that. So what did I miss here that makes him so evil?

In fact, according to my sister (I admit, she did the research for me), Harper has placated the Quebecois by recognizing them as a nation, saving us all the time, energy and money that was going into that black hole of a schism. He’s been trying to beef up trade between Western Canada and non-America countries, like China. He’s been REDUCING THE DEFICIT, which, in Canada, is a small miracle. Harper once said that Canada is a second tier Western European welfare state, and it looks like he’s actually working to make Canada a REAL WORLD FINANCIAL POWER. Hell, he even displayed a set of real balls and claimed the Arctic oil. Go to hell, Russia!

So now there’s this coalition, and there’s arguments that a coalition government would be OMG SO AWESOME, and that the Conservatives have lost the faith of the people, and etc., etc. Well, here’s my opinion, which no one asked for, but I will volunteer anyways.

1. WTF are you people THINKING getting sidetracked with this stupid coalition garbage right now??? SRSLY! To me, it’s a horrible display of irresponsibility to set up a coalition that includes a separatist party, and then threaten the ruling government with it, AT A TIME WHEN WE’RE FACING THE BIGGEST CRISIS SINCE THE FUCKING DEPRESSION. If the coalition leaders were responsible adults, they’d focus on getting work done, instead of trying to grab Cabinet seats. In the States, we call it “bipartisan efforts”, and we suck at it. Canada should know better.

2. THE COALITION IS DISINTEGRATING ALREADY!! It doesn’t have a leader – Stephane Dion is stepping down! CBC said today that it can’t even hold together until January Why the hell would we want this coalition to rule the country?

3. The big economic stimulus plan is to bolster forestry and auto industries? I’m sorry – is it still 1985? Because this is 2008, Coalition members! Now, if they said that they were going to focus on making the auto industry produce hybrid cars that would actually sell, and on improving tree farming and conservation of forests, I’d buy it. I want specifics, not this vague, “oh, well, we might pump money into this sector or that sector”.

4. STOP YELLING YES WE CAN, DAMMIT! Good LORD. The Conservative party ARE NOT THE REPUBLICANS. They’re just fiscally conservative! To quote the Daily Show, socially, they’re the Gay Nader Fans for Peace! KNOCK IT OFF!

5. I did not vote for the Coalition. I am one of the voters that voted Conservative. I also voted assuming that, should the Conservatives lose the faith of the country, then a new election would be called so the people could decide on a new government. Nowhere in there did I agree that it was OK for a party who did NOT have the most seats, to effectively rule Canada. It’s never happened before at a federal level, and it’s doubtful it would be a real coalition. More likely it would be the Liberals. Who were voted out. In 2006. Stephane Dion LOST the election. It seems wrong to me to put him in without one. It’s TECHNICALLY democratic under the law, but it seems more like a bloodless coup. All smotherings.

Anyways.
SRSLY.
WTF?
Can someone PLEASE explain to me why this is happening?