two and a half hours until life changes

I went to the obstetrician today for a routine visit. It’s two days before my due date, and I was hoping she’d tell me I was well on my way. I actually am – I’m 2cm dilated and clearly getting ready to have the baby. And if I was having a normal size baby, the doctor would probably let me wait it out.

However, it’s pretty obvious that I’ve grown even in the ten days since my last appointment. So my doctor sent me to ultrasound, where the baby was scanned again to check an estimated weight and be sure that he’s padded by enough amniotic fluid. He’s just fine in there, but the estimated weight came back at…

[ drum roll ]


Because he’s gaining a half pound a week in there, the doctor recommended I have labor induced this week, to ensure that I have the best possible chance of delivering vaginally. I do not want a ten pound baby that may have to be removed via C-section, so I’m all for this plan. Also, I just want this guy out. He’s heavy. It hurts my lower abdominals when I move around too much, to the point where, if I’m on my feet a lot during the day, it hurts to roll over at night. He settles in an uncomfortable way when I stand up. I’m not waddling or anything, because I’m five-ten with a wide pelvis, but this baby is starting to cause pain. Time for him to get out, so I can actually put hm down.

I was still kind of shocked that labor would be induced. And so I went home, and took a nap until the scheduling lady could book me in at Cedars for induction. I got the call a little after 3pm: a slot was available at midnight tonight. And so, in two and a half hours, I will be at labor and delivery at Cedars-Sinai, getting shot up with Pitocin to induce this guy out.

Hopefully, once it starts, it’ll go fast. At least, that’s what I’m praying for right now. But now I’m looking at less than twenty-four hours until Paul and I actually have a son. By this time tomorrow, I will have added “mother” to my identity, and it’s only slightly less of a mindfuck to adjust to now than it was six months ago.

Of course, I can’t wait to meet this small person who will be such a part of our lives. This is the baby that came out of how much my husband and I truly love each other. This is the son who will always be part of us, and of the little family unit we created. But as much as I am going to love him, it is still a bit frightening, right now, with two and a half hours to go.

I’d better go make sure everything is ready – it’s time to get this baby out!

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