faith & devotion :: the mariage proposal

Many people have asked me to tell and re-tell the story of how my fiance asked me to marry him. Including my boss, today, when I showed her the ring. It is something that my co-workers and friends – especially women – want to hear.

Thursday, I knew my boyfriend was going to ask me to marry him because he called me at my office, and asked what I was doing that night. “Why?” I asked.

“Just because I want to take my beautiful girlfriend out to a romantic dinner,” he said.

Paul never calls me at work. He emails me. When he calls to be sure that I’m free so he can make reservations for the romantic French bistro in Pasadena we frequent, I know he’s Up To Something. And immediately, butterflies hit my stomach, and I realized that this was it. He was actually going to ask me to marry him. And I’d been expecting it – hell, we’d been pseudo engaged for weeks – but I still got an adrenaline shot thinking of it.

So we went for dinner, and it was lovely. Crepe&Vine in Pasadena is one of our favorite restaurants, and it’s perfect for romantic meals. There was much gazing into each others eyes and cooing at each other and general sappiness. Fortunately, it’s the sort of place where there’s at least a few couples mooning over each other like we do. And although it was hard, I kept my mouth shut and didn’t ask about what my boyfriend was planning. I had my herb-encrusted salmon, and my divine chocolate mousse, and a glass of red wine, and tried not to think too much about where the evening was going.

We came home, and I went to take off my heels and go to the bathroom. And when I came out, Paul had shut the doors to the living room. Finally, he opened them to show what he’d done. He had lit candles and set out a dozen longstem roses on the coffee table. There was a bottle of merlot on the bookshelf. And when I walked in, he cued up the TIVO’s music function. I met Paul when he came to dance with me at Bar Sinister, emboldened by the Chameleons UK’s “Swamp Thing”. So when the first guitar strains came on, I felt my heart leap – not just at the nostalgia, but that he had thought to put the song on. The first question that this song triggered was unspoken, because both of us agreed to dance with each other before he even got across the dance floor. This would be the second question set to this song (and music is SO important to us) and it would definitely be asked, out loud.

The song came on in full, and Paul told me how much he loved me. And by the time he actually got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, I was weeping so hard that I could barely get the “yes” out. And then he put the ring on my left hand, and asked, “Wait. You did say yes, right?”

Yes. Of course I did. Like I would have ever considered saying anything else. When you get Princess Bride style true love, “yes” is the only answer that exists.

So when I told this story to my boss today, she listened, and then said to me, “you know, you have it all. You really do.”

I know. I know perfectly well how wonderful my future husband is. Because Paul is. He’s one of those few perfectly pure, nice, kind humans, for whom helping others is second nature. He’s unquestionably loyal to the people in his life. He is serious his beliefs, ideals & values. He’s brilliant in his own right, especially in the fields he’s most passionate about. He’s got a good sense of humor, which relies on the ridiculous and the one-liner as much as mine does. He’s cute, and I still just look at him and think how good looking my fiance is. And, of course, he loves me, and loves being with him, as I do with him. I wake up happy to see him in the mornings, and go to sleep happy to be curled up against him at night. He makes me want to be better than I am, in everything I do. He gives me hope that I’ll always be this happy. And most importantly of all, I will always have someone to mock things with.

So yes, I have it all – because I do have a love of my life I love this much. As I said, on Thursday, I have had doubts about everything in my life. Almost nothing is an easy decision. Except this. I have absolutely no doubts that I want to spend the rest of my life with Paul. That makes me happier than anything else I could imagine. Seeing that diamond on my finger, feeling the ring’s weight, is a constant symbol of the devotion that we’re lucky enough to have to each other. And for the rest of my life, I will cry when I hear “Swamp Thing”.