Mike called me today to inform me that he can’t keep Evil. Apparently, a certain fat orange pet became accustomed to being the only pet in the house, and has worried the other household pet to the point of illness. Mike was almost in tears over it, too, because he and the cat have bonded. They’re really the same creature. And Evil recognized that right away, and loves Mike just as much as Mike loves him, which is why Mike was so upset. “But he’s so CUTE! And so fat!” he wailed.
“And he purrs, doesn’t he?” I added.
“Oh, I’ve never heard a cat purr so much!”
“And he’s snuggly, right?”
“He’s very snuggly. He’s like a big fat teddy bear.”
Before I have to resort to emailing the next ex-boyfriend in line (hey, he lost his cat a year ago in a tragically ironic accident, maybe he wants a replacement!), does anyone want my cat? Please? Or, rather, my ex-cat. He is wonderful and we love him, but I’m afraid of my allergies getting worse again. That, and we promised our other roomate we would get rid of the cat as soon as possible six months ago when Nick moved in.
As it is, Evil will have to go live with Paul in Pasadena for a while, but Paul’s hospitality is limited to a couple weeks. As much as he adores Evil – and adores me – he can’t be expected to keep my cat permanently. And I’d like to put my baby somewhere with someone I know, so he doesn’t end up a test animal at a lab somewhere. He’d make too good of a subject for diet pills.
Can’t someone take my cat? Please?