The Pizza Hut commercial with Jessica Simpson just came on. Y’know, the one where she sashays in, singing that godAWFUL song about how, “these bites were made for poppin'”, while the poor teenage boy at the table tries desperately to hide the boner in his pants.
ROOMATE: “I thought this commercial was a bad dream. But the fact that I am seeing it again proves that it was not.”
This commercial is wrong in more ways than I can count, but let’s just start with the obvious:
1. It’s PIZZA HUT. There are few food substances I can think of worse than this. It’s nothing but white flour and fat! Pork fat! And now, they’re adding extra fat to the white flour crust in the form of “poppers”! NUGGETS of fat!
2. It’s JESSICA SIMPSON, who is the white flour and pork fat of the entertainment world! She is a crust of fake tan, covered in a gooey layer of inane chatter, and topped with silicon lips and tacky clothing, served to the public in a box of extreme PR.
3. This commercial makes Jessica Simpson seem more like Mary Kay Letourneau.
Overall? This commercial rates as high on the household “if only it WAS a nightmare” chart as the Paris Hilton Carl’s Jr. commercial. Which, my roomate points out, would be much more apt if it was for Wienerschnitzel.