off to church

In order to make up for dressing like the devil on Friday, I’m going to church today.

Why do I get the impression that statement is probably causing more distress among my friends reading it right now than the photo of Friday’s slutty outfit?

Actually, my cube-mate and adopted brother, SuperChu, has asked me to go because he’s playing guitar there today.

The Media Cowboy and Media Cowgirl, in our Western outfits, on Costume Friday at the Agency.

Please don’t ask about the book he’s holding – it was a joke gift from a vendor rep who’s also Asian.

SuperChu always tells me, “Sis, you have to come to church, you’ll meet some nice guys rather than the scumbags that you complain about.”
“But bro,” I say, “I’m not Christian.”
“That doesn’t matter!” he says.
“But I’lll burst into flames if I enter a church!”
Cue the department’s 19 year old, also Christian, Flash programmer wandering by. “They have fire extinguishers for that now.”

Sigh. So I’m going to go scrub my face clean and put on a knee length skirt and go off to church. My father would be proud of me – I don’t think I’ve ever been to a church before, just to synagogues, and Dad, despite being a Lapsed Methodist Who Never Went to The Local Church, took some time to accept that I had decided to align myself with Judaism rather than his Protestant background.

Then I’m going to detox diet when I get home, because I’m shaky from two nights in a row of cheap vodka and dancing. Yeah, I think I need some religion.

11 responses to “off to church

  1. I need you to meet a nice christian boy and start a new story line around it. Please?

    I mean, you ARE just here to entertain me, aren’t you? Like TV. Except with better scriptwriters.

  2. ugh…. just ignore the people who glare, there are always people who glare at church…. probably one of the many reasons I stopped going :S

  3. no, really, i think the scriptwriters should be fired still. lazy hacks that they are. i have too many connections back to my own roomate, and the boys are all cliches 😉

  4. nah, no glares, everyone was superfriendly. it was a nondenominational Christian church that actually had really good vibes to it.

  5. I feel your pain. I will be going to church next Sunday with my father and stepmother. Pray I don’t explode into flames. Happy Samhain!!!

  6. Jillian, have you been on the birthright trip yet?

  7. So are you going to church just to meet men or are you really going because you want to?

    The Christian In Me Needs To Know 😉

  8. No, I went because my cubemate and good friend Mark asked me to go & share something that’s special to him. And see him play his guitar. I’m still not Christian.

  9. No, my mom goes meshuggene every time my sister or I mention we’d like to go to Israel. “Oy, vey, you’ll get blown up” sort of thing. Yes, I know it’s an overreaction.

    I have until I’m 30, right? (I’m 26 now)

  10. Nope, you have until you’re 27.
    Mind if I refer you?

  11. I was half joking. I know you’re not Christian. Jeez.

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